There are several statistics out there about how divorce is not good for children short or long term. Of course if you are in an abusive relationship, physically or verbal, you do need to divorce and seek legal/emotional help for your sake as well as the sake of the well-being of your children. For adults it is also difficult, you no longer have a combined income and shared expenses but a split income and twice the costs/expenses as separate households when we divorce.
· Per the Wallerstein “The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children” Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1991 children six years later still suffered from loneliness, insecurity and other negative emotions
· Children whose parents are divorced are 2x’s likelier to drop out of high school per McLanahan, Sandefur, “Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps” Harvard University Press 1994)
· Half of US children will have their parents’ divorce per Furstenberg, Peterson, Nord, and Zill, “Life Course”
· According to the CDC/National Center for Health Statistics the trend in divorce has been declining. Comparing 2000 where 4 in 1000 people divorced against 2014 where only 3.2 in 1000 people divorced
However, if there are other issues that can be worked on why not give it a try. The key here is to be active in finding a resolution not just creating a greater gap between partners. For all we know there is a chance, small maybe but if it can save your children the long term heartache, yours and your spouse why not give it a go. Separations can range from months to years, bear in mind that divorce may still be the outcome.
In my own marriage I went through a short separation of about a month. There was some heartache going through it but we were able to work through it and since then we have had one other child, issues that we kept just running around but not resolving were addressed thanks to counseling. I found the site https://ccn.thedirectorywidget.com/ to be very helpful in finding a counselor and good articles that solidified my pursuit of a solid solution to the issues in our marriage. Although, some of these are Christian counselors you can reach out and some do not just help those of that religion. My husband is not a practicing Christian but found the exercises helpful with the counselor we ended up using. Divorce does not have to be the final step in your relationship, find other ways to resolve your relationship issues especially when the lives of others will be affected by your choices.